I know that would help me, but alas my SO has found some things out and isn't so accepting of some, though we are going to start seeing a sex counselor so maybe that will help. I'm not sure how close you are with your boyfriend, or how he'd feel about things, but involving him into your fantasies may be one way of keeping you interest in him and also keeping things in check. Realize that your not nearly as alone as you feel though! While I'm not a pedophile (or a female), I definitely known what it is like to struggle with something similar and to feel alone. Thankyou for replying! your post was very reassuring to me. I know that makes me sound like a monster, but I DO understand that these thoughts etc are wrong and I want to stop (though I'm not sure this is possible) or at least learn more about my condition, as I feel I can't quite relate to a lot of research regarding males. I don't believe I am suffering from POCD, as I (and this is going to sound really bad) am not exactly 'freaking out' about my thoughts, and find fantasies etc enjoyable and not stressful like POCD sufferers do. Yes, I had assumed that there were a lot more women like me so I was quite surprised when I started trying to find info on it in relation to females!
Thanks for posting, it takes a lot of bravery to write all of this even on an anonymous forum I know how alienated you must feel, and it sucks. If you are really a hebephile (and don't just suffer POCD, and I believe what you said that you don't think that's you), you'll probably be dealing with this for a very long time Sorry. It makes it hard for us to find any useful information for ourselves when most studies about paraphilias only include male subjects.
There are a couple of female /hebephiles here, not me actually, but I can totally relate, I'm a girl and I find that people think that only men have paraphilias. Skeleton-countess wrote:Hi, and welcome citygirl. Posts: 13 Joined: Sat 12:55 am Local time: Sun 12:41 am Blog: View Blog (0)
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I hope I get some responses on this, even if you don't know much about the area please feel free to comment, it will really help me feel not so alone. I did some research into female paedophiles and came across loads of articles saying "DO FEMALE PEDOPHILES EXIST?" This makes me feel really alone- is my condition really that rare?! because of this I haven't been able to find any useful info that can help me in relation to being a female 'pedophile'- let alone a 'hebephile'. I am a reasonably normal girl in most other ways but I have this big secret and it's weighing me down, which is why I am posting on this forum now- I basically need someone to talk to about it! I know that my feelings are unnatural and shouldn't be acted upon, but the thought of doing so excites me.how do I get over this? Has anybody gone through/ is going through something similar? I don't feel comfortable telling any of this to a councillor or to friends and family. I'm not sure what set this into motion (though it has always been there). which have seemed to be getting stronger lately. I have a boyfriend that is the same age as me, though I find myself becoming increasingly disinterested in him due to my fantasies about young boys. I have no childhood traumas or abuse etc, I had an excellent childhood. I have also suffered from depression in the recent past. It may also be worth mentioning that I do suffer from OCD, however I don't believe this to be a case of POCD (obsessing about being a pedophile). I am actually bisexual but I am not attracted to underage girls AT ALL. I don't generally find myself attracted to boys under 10, however there have been a few instances in which I have been, though it is not in quite the same way as I desire the older boys. I find myself sexually attracted to boys that are usually around this age group, though it is not just sexual- sometimes I find myself desiring a relationship with them. I know I referred to myself as a 'pedophile', but (after doing some research into my attraction) I believe I am something called a 'hebephile', meaning I am mostly attracted to 11-14 year olds.
Obviously this was fine when I was younger, but now that I am 20 it is a real problem. I am a 20 year old woman and for as long as I can remember I have been attracted to young boys. Hi, this is my first post here so I'm not sure quite what to expect or if I will even get any replies, but I really feel like I have no other place to turn for help.
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